I Can't Stop Thinking About The Dale Earnhardt House

Dale Earnhardt is a legend. The NASCAR driver’s career was a glorious one, and its tragic ending left the racing world in mourning, whether you were an Earnhardt lover or hater. But did you raise hell and praise Dale quite as extensively as this home seller in South Carolina? I doubt it.

I mean, just look at that picture above.

The listing for the mobile home in Rock Hill, South Carolina doesn’t once mention the sheer amount of NASCAR merch adorning the home. No one mentions that Dale Earnhardt or Dale Earnhardt Jr. will hang out with you in the living room, watch you sleep in the bedroom, or join you for dinner.

It doesn’t mention the hand-painted references to The Man In Black both in and out of the house.

It doesn’t mention the impressive “3″ painted on the concrete.

It doesn’t mention the Dale-themed kitchen, replete with Dale Wheaties.

And it definitely doesn’t mention the massive jacuzzi tub in the bathroom that is — you guessed it — watched over by The Intimidator himself.

I know it probably sounds like I’m roasting this poor person, but I’m just genuinely awed. This home represents a lifetime of dedication and collecting. This is someone that you just know was the envy of all their friends, who probably met Earnhardt at least once and cherished that memory with all their heart, who basked in the comforting Sunday ritual of watching stock cars take on one oval track after another.

I’m not roasting, folks. I’m jealous. And if the $179,000 comes with its full acre and all that NASCAR merch, I’d honestly consider it a steal — though, again, there’s no indication that it comes furnished, nor would I expect someone with this extensive of a collection to be willing to part with their life.

I joked in the Jalopnik Slack that this is pretty much what my office already looks like, except I celebrate dead Frenchmen and only have cardboard cutouts of Will Stevens and Danica Patrick. My husband — who does in fact have a Dale Earnhardt wedding ring and no short supply of other Earnhardt merch he’s been collecting since childhood — will probably actually have the Dale house as his office.