Buy This $35M Oceanside Go Kart Track, Get A Mansion, A Castle, And A Replica Of Stonehenge Absolutely Free

If you’re looking for a new house in the Guilford, Connecticut area and you absolutely must have a go kart track and oceanside views, this might be your only option. Located at 215 Uncas Point Rd., this 13-acre property—featuring a 5,354 square foot mega main house, a 3,583 square foot guest house, and an in-law suite bigger than my apartment—is currently on the market with a very affordable $35,000,000 price tag. That’s a small price to pay for a private karting track right on the wide open Atlantic Ocean, especially one that includes a “circle of life,” a pool, and tennis courts.

“The Grand Tour: One For The Road” Is An Emotional And Satisfying Finale

Why bother going to a real race track to test your mettle against the riff raff when you can just stay right at home where it’s comfortable and get the fastest time of day in a competition of one?

Image: Coldwell Banker Realty

This property has been owned and renovated by the same party since 2002. According to real estate records, they purchased the property for $3,200,000 back then. It’s difficult to say at first glance what improvements have been made to the property in that time, but for the value of the property to have increased tenfold in 22 years is quite impressive. Was it the mystical magic of stonehenge that made the site so much more valuable?

Image: Coldwell Banker Realty

So how much is this place going to cost you per month to get incredibly good at go karting? Well, if you put down the standard 20 percent, that’s $7,000,000 plus fees and paying your realtor. You’d be getting a loan for about $28,000,000 with an average current rate of six percent, and the $990 monthly HOA fee, you’re probably going to pay around a quarter million dollars per month for the privilege. If you have some well-to-do friends, you might be able to rent out the guest house for at least a portion of that. Be generous and charge them a fair $150,000 per month to stay there and you’re really cutting down your monthly.

Image: Coldwell Banker Realty

It’s a small price to pay for living at the perfect house. Why wouldn’t you want to walk out every morning and see this hideous faux castle?

According to the listing, the house is a bargain. Here’s what the realtor has to say about it:

Waterfront.. Sachems Head – Welcome to a Unique opportunity to purchase some of the finest waterfront properties to ever become available on the entire Connecticut Shoreline.

Combined 3 properties span 13.03 rolling green Acres w/1900 feet of waterfront, 3 Docks, Boat Lift, Vineyard, Orchards, Beautiful Gardens, Fruit Trees, Tennis/Basketball Court, Go Kart Track, 2 Houses and a Carriage House.

The Main House, a testament to exceptional craftsmanship, showcases approximately 5,534 square feet of living space, with six well-appointed bedrooms and 4.1 bathrooms. Designed with the finest materials, this home seamlessly blends timeless elegance and modern conveniences, providing a harmonious living environment.

Outdoor area includes a Pool, Spa & Outdoor kitchen.

Guest House with 3,583 sq feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, Separate 942 sq ft. 1 bedroom in-law/ staff quarters.

This property shares a Common border with the main residence. The separated property which can possibly be subdivided into 2 building sites, features a Carriage House, Dock & Sandy Beach.

To say there are many possibilities here would be an enormous understatement! Private residence, Family compound or High-end development. Bring your Dream here; this opportunity will not let you down.

All 3 properties must be sold together unless otherwise agreed to by the current owners. Please respect the privacy of current owners. BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. Taxes represent all 3 properties.

Image: Coldwell Banker Realty

And because these photos were taken on behalf of real estate agents who don’t know dick about cars, go carts, or racing, there isn’t a single fucking image of the inside of the garage. This property is explicitly built for an enthusiast, but the listing doesn’t cater to the people who would be most interested in having a big garage and a go cart track. Make it make sense.