Attention Boot Lickers: Tesla Is Now Selling $450 Bottles Of Mezcal
Tesla, the Elon Musk–run tech company whose mission statement is “accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy,” has just released a $450 lightning bolt–shaped bottle of Mezcal. How this bottle of liquor serves to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy eludes me, but Tesla has previously sold limited quantities of Tesla-branded alcohol in the past.
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Tesla Tequila was the first Tesla alcohol sold back in 2020, and it was in a suspiciously similar-looking glass vessel. The company’s last alcoholic endeavor was a limited run of Tesla Cyberbeer, which received underwhelming reviews on the popular beer ranking website Untappd. The company responsible for the blundersome Cybertruck then partnered with Nosotros Tequila to launch Tesla Tequila, and now Nosotros Mezcal is producing the $450 Tesla Mezcal, too. Nosotros’ own brand of mezcal sells for $70 per bottle on the company’s website, and it doesn’t seem to be very different from the $450 Tesla Tequila.
Based on information available online, the only factors that differentiate Nosotros’ mezcal and the Tesla Mezcal are that Tesla’s mezcal uses Espadín and Bicuishe agaves and claims notes of citrus and green apple, while Nosotros uses Espadín and Tobalá agaves and claims notes of citrus and apricot. Tesla Mezcal has a single-percent-higher alcohol content at 43 percent, and it comes in the wacky black-finished hand-blown lightning bolt–shaped bottle that’s “inspired by Oaxaca’s centuries’-old Barro Negro pottery making tradition.” I’d like to note that the shape of this bottle looks exactly the same and has the same 750 mL capacity as the 2020 release Tesla Tequila bottle, just in a different color.
Despite the obvious similarities between the Tesla Mezcal and Nosotros’ mezcal, unopened Tesla Tequila bottles are listed for sale online for absurd prices, with some listed near $4,000. Though the Tesla Mezcal is significantly more expensive to purchase than Tesla Tequila ever was, even when adjusted for inflation, it might still be worth buying for investment’s sake. I wouldn’t hold out for it to pay for a child’s college tuition, but it is rare to be able to buy something that gains value so rapidly, even if it’s attached to a bozo like Elon Musk.
