Obviously You Shouldn't Body Slam An Orca To Stop It Sinking Your Boat

It turns out that killer wales do not like boats. They really don’t like them, in fact, and have made it their mission to sink them all to the bottom of the ocean in recent years. Now, instead of letting the orca have their fun with boats sailing the seven seas, one New Zealander has tried to fight back, which is something you definitely should not do.

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The Kiwi in question was sailing near to the Devonport suburb of Auckland, New Zealand’s biggest city, when an innocent orca began swimming alongside his boat. In the past, orca have attacked the rudders of sailing yachts, and even managed to sink a 50-foot sailing yacht last summer.

Not wanting to be another statistic in the great battle between man and marine life, a 50-year-old Auckland man on the boat decided to fight back. His weapon of choice: his own body. So he decided to try and body slam the massive mammal, reports Futursim. However, the attack on the orca went about as well as you’d expect, with the site reporting:

In an Instagram video of the incident, which happened back in February, the man flops into the water, almost missing the orca, popularly known as a killer whale, and a calf swimming near it, the news outlet reports, while other people on the boat laugh and egg him on.

At one point, he swam back to one of the orcas to touch it, as seen in the video.

Understandably, authorities in New Zealand were not best pleased when they saw the clip. The country’s Department of Conservation issued a statement condemning the “shocking and stupid attitude” towards New Zealand’s wildlife.

Man who attempted to ‘body slam’ an orca in New Zealand fined $600

“The video left us genuinely stunned,” DOC principal investigation officer Hayden Loper said in a statement. “As well as the initial attempt to dive onto the animal, the man stays in the water and then swims toward it again in a second attempt to touch it.

“This is stupid behavior and demonstrates a shocking disregard for the welfare of the orca. It is extremely irresponsible.”

Now, the man has been tracked down and charged with breaching New Zealand’s Marine Mammals Protection Act, which states that it’s “illegal to swim with whales, or disturb or harass any marine mammal,” adds Loper.

As a result, the man in the clip has now been fined $600 for the act. However, that’s just New Zealand dollars, so it’s only about $370 in our money.

While you might be thinking no American would be dumb enough to attempt something like this, you’d probably be wrong. We’re always hearing about adventurers in our national parks doing dumb stuff like getting too close to bison and putting baby elk in their cars. Just leave the animals be, OK?