Big Nude Cesspool Cruise Heads For Miami

Do you feel your life isn’t hellish enough as it is? Do you feel that both cruise ships and the city of Miami are too sanitary and clean? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then I’ve got good news for you: there’s a nude cruise setting sail from the port of Miami in February 2025.

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Bare Necessities Tour and Travel announced its latest nude cruise will be aboard the Norwegian Sky cruise ship. Butt-ass naked travelers will embark on a 10-day trip to the Caribbean with stops in places like the Bahamas, Puerto Rico and St. Lucia From February 3 to 14 of next year, according to KKTV CBS 11 News. According to the trip’s itinerary, there are plenty of naked experiences to be had, including nude beach days on a private island and entire nude days at sea. This is hell.

Don’t worry about uncouth nudists, though. CBS11 says there will be “proper nudist etiquette” and other rules for guests onboard like no photo zones in and around the pool area and dance venues. So much for this being a free country. The company recommends that passengers bring some sort of casual clothing for the times they need to be at least a bit covered up, along with a swimsuit since not every excursion with be clothing optional. Unfortunately, lingerie and fetish wear are not acceptable forms of clothing.

Here’s more about the nude dos-and-don’t aboard the 965-foot-long Norwegian Pearl as well as what’s available onboard, from the Miami New Times:

However, passengers are free to be naked when the ship is at sea or anchored in a port, including at the vessel’s self-serve buffet on the pool deck. Several clothing-optional excursions will be available for purchase.

Norwegian notes that failure to comply with its decorum rules will be grounds for banishment from the ship, without refunds or transportation from the port of dismissal.

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The 2,300-passenger ship will offer 16 dining options, including French, Italian, Brazilian, and Asian cuisine, 14 bars and lounges, a casino, and a spa, and a duty-free designer boutique.

If you are interested in joining hell on the high waters, tickets for the Big Nude Boat 2025 cruise are currently on sale, with prices starting at $2,000 for a double occupancy. If you’re a big nude spender, you can lock in the Haven 3-Bedroom Garden Villa for $33,155 per person. What a deal.