4 big costs that come with caring for my neurodivergent kids' health – Business Insider

Both of my kids are neurodivergent with multiple diagnoses including ADHD, anxiety, and sensory disorders.
It costs a lot of money to support their growth and development, but to me its worth every penny.
Big costs for their care include copays, pricey providers, gas for travel, and extra-curriculars.
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I have one son and one daughter, ages seven and five, who are both neurodivergent and in need of special services. They qualify for free services through our school district, but I also supplement that care with extra, private services. 

Neurodivergence is any variation from the defined “norm” regarding the way someone’s brain works. Theoretically almost everyone would fall under that definition, but most of the time when that term is actually used its reserved for people with certain diagnoses.

My kids have a mix of different diagnoses, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and sensory processing disorder (SPD).  

The private services that I pay for have been extra important for my kids since the pandemic began, which made a lot of in-person services go away for quite some time. Although my kids’ teachers did a fantastic job with them, my kids still need additional support to make up for being out of the classroom for so long.

I also supplement because even though my son has had access to free services in the past, he is currently receiving nothing from his school district. I’m not concerned about academics so much as I am about mental health and emotional regulation, so we prioritize getting extra help for that reason.

I have seen a lot of growth in my kids as a result of the various things we do, and will continue to support my kids in this way. It’s absolutely worth it to spend my time and money on my children’s education and wellbeing.

However, I also acknowledge that I am speaking from a place of enormous privilege: our family has health insurance, and our kids have two parents who have time and resources to get them additional help. That said, here are four major costs associated with private care meant to nurture the development of my neurodivergent children.

1. Providers can be expensive with our insurance deductibles

Occupational therapists are my favorite people in the whole world, and my kids have benefitted immensely from occupational therapy.

Unfortunately, sessions can be anywhere between $100 and $200 per visit when out-of-network, and finding providers in-network for weekly or bi-monthly appointments is very difficult.

Our in-network deductible is only $1500 per year, and everything after that is covered at a rate of 80% by our insurance. However, our out-of-network deductible is $10,000 per year. Due to an insurance miscommunication, one provider we saw most recently was out-of-network. 

This fall, my son was evaluated for speech therapy at a private practice, which cost a couple hundred dollars against our deductible. He now has weekly appointments.

Fortunately, the provider was in-network, but we hit our deductible with just one appointment to go before the new year when it’ll reset back to $1500 again. 

2. Regular therapy and medication copays

Even after we hit our deductibles, there are still other regular healthcare costs for the kids. My daughter sees a therapist, who is in-network with our insurance, for a $20 copay per visit.

She used to see this therapist once a week, but recently this has been adjusted to once every two weeks, so its a little less pricey.

Both of my kids see also see a nurse practitioner who manages their medications. She is a specialist, so there is a $40 copay per visit, but we only see her once a month at most, sometimes only once every three months.

Our prescription prices for the kids can vary, some of them are free but others can be around $15 every month.

3. Time and gas

Time is money, and these services definitely take time. My daughter attends an alternative public school that she loves, and it suits her personality and special education needs very well.

However, there is no bus to this “focus option” as our district calls it, so parents need to drive their kids to and from it every day. For me, that’s 15 minutes each way and about nine miles. 

Our therapist is seven miles away, but sometimes takes as long as 30 minutes to get there with traffic. The occupational therapist we saw this year is 15 miles away, which is a 30-minute drive with no traffic. 

As a result of all this driving around, I usually have to buy gas at least once a week and have to keep up with car maintenance.

The time I spend driving around and being in attendance for appointments means that I only have about four to five hours of work and chore time during the three school days every week that I have custody of the kids.

This is a big reason why I only work part-time as a freelancer right now — so I can have flexible hours. 

4. Extra-curriculars that help with sensory issues and development

Because of their sensory needs and limited access to public swimming pools during the pandemic, I recently put my kids in semi-private swim lessons. These 30-minute lessons are $25 per child, so I spend $50 a week on lessons for the two of them. 

Over the years we’ve tried other activities that don’t fall under any specific therapy to help my kids with their sensory issues and work on their skills.

I don’t necessarily count things like gymnastics or piano lessons as medical care — but nevertheless all these activities help my kids learn and grow, and so I consider them to be an essential part of my budget.